


Down the Street, Not Across

by Sasurealian



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Shingeki no Kyojin Fusion, Anorexia, Cutting, Depression, Implied Levi/Eren Yeager, M/M, Shingeki no Kyojin: Kuinaki Sentaku | Attack on Titan: No Regrets, Suicide Attempts, Triggers, ereri, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-01-14 19:16:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1277797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasurealian/pseuds/Sasurealian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You know what they say brats, it's down the street, not across.  However I wouldn't skip home telling your parents about that.  I'd probably tell mine if I had any.  Wow, don't I sound like a mood killer. Let's just say I'm not in the best of moods, I was sent to this mental hospital because of a certain sadist and the people here are crazy!  Then I get this happy-go-lucky roommate that won't leave me alone!  To make it worse we don't have smoke breaks and have to attend circle therapy.  All abroad the nope train to hell! Ereri / AU / Yaoi / triggering / suicide / cutting /ED</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is only the prologue. I was very hesitant on writing this at first, but I've always wanted to. Mostly because I can relate...well....use to. I am recovered now, but I still wanted to write a story based off my knowledge. I think it's just good to share with the class. It makes me feel more recovered. However, IF you're not, PLEASE don't read this. I mean, unless you think it will help you. =S There are a ton of triggers in this story. let's just throw them all out of the table for safety. This chapter contains cutting. Also there is cursing throughout the whole story. I will make a note of it when something is coming up. Lastly, this is ERERI which means yaoi. Yes yes, I love my two little angels dearly and I love to play with them as much as possible. *laughs evilly* Anyway, I also wanted to point out that Levi is 18. I decided to keep him at a younger age for this particular story. He doesn't look or act older so I really don't see the harm at changing his age. xD

Being alone was such a fun activity for teenagers when they wanted to get away from their parents to just have peace and quiet. Maybe open their laptop and spend hours on Tumblr and procrastinate about doing that stupid assignment Mrs. No-one-gives-a-shit gave you TWO weeks ago. Was that two weeks ago? Well, who was counting anyway? Too bad I didn’t give a shit. There was a math test as well? Probably a mile high of other responsibilities I had to get done. Who cared? Once again, not me! Wow, not even into the second paragraph and you guys are catching on.

Oh…by the way, I wasn’t on Tumblr. Nor was I on my IPhone re-vining or liking crap on Instagram.

In fact, I didn’t haven parents. Did I even have a phone?

What did I have?

Hmm….well, let’s play the infamous guessing game, What Does Levi Have! Featuring Levi! If only you could see my face right now…

Who cared what everyone else thought? I liked to play my music loud when no one was home. I liked to bolt lock my door and pretend to get my homework done when everyone knew that wasn’t what I was doing. So what was I doing you ask? 

I was kicking the bucket another time; that’s what.

I drew a nice velvet line across my canvas, and not a canvas you should be drawing on. Kind of like in kindergarten when Mrs. No-one-gives-a-shit told you that crayon only goes on paper. I guess I failed that class. 

Fuck.

Did it hurt? Well, children…of course it doesn’t. I think it was supposed to, but it stopped hurting years ago. I played with the fire for so long that I didn’t know the difference from being too close and too far. I inhaled deeply and released the air from inside my lungs. Fire. It felt a lot like fire, but my head danced with the white lights. 

Today was a very special day. Usually I would have my alone time until a certain sadist came home, but we was going to be late today. You couldn’t imagine the activities that flashed inside my head. I spent a long time working on my canvas, but after about an hour of ‘coloring outside the lines’ I was feeling faint. I couldn’t feel my arm anymore…errr….canvas.

Should I be concerned that it was touching the sheets? Didn’t matter, I could get any stain out. I fell onto my back and lay into speckled red sheets. I dabbled with the other side a lot, but I never actually walked in. It’s like church. You always say you’re going to go, you might even sit outside and listen in, but until you take that first step in, you’re not truly a member, you’re not really there, just curiously dabbling with death.

W-what?

Death?

“Levi!”

“Fuck.” I wrapped my frozen fingers around the piece of metal. I didn’t want to talk to him right now. I thought he wasn’t going to be home until later! I glanced at the time and hissed. How was it already this late?

The doorknob giggled and I bit my lower lip. If he saw me like this….he would…he would…what would he do? Probably yell at me and tell me I was a failure.

No. I was sick of his sadistic mind, I was sick of him always pretending to care, I was sick of this whole damn place and I was sick of just dabbling.

It was finally the day that I actually walk into that room and have no more fear. I deserved it.

My beautiful canvas was completed that day.

_____________________________________________________

 

A week later I found myself in a hospital gown sitting in front of a lady with dark strawberry blonde hair that hovered over her shoulder. She couldn’t have been much older than me and it started to piss me off as she wrote stuff down on a note pad.

“So, Levi, care to explain to me why you tried to kill yourself?”

Fuck.


	2. Game of life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what they say brats, it's down the street, not across. However I wouldn't skip home telling your parents about that. I'd probably tell mine if I had any. Wow, don't I sound like a mood killer. Let's just say I'm not in the best of moods, I was sent to this mental hospital because of a certain sadist and the people here are crazy! Then I get this happy-go-lucky roommate that won't leave me alone! To make it worse we don't have smoke breaks and have to attend circle therapy. All abroad the nope train to hell! Ereri / AU / Yaoi / triggering / suicide / cutting /ED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Allllll right, sorry for this being posted late. I had a lot of work this past week so it's been rough. I'll update quicker though. Thanks for waiting and enjoy. LOTS of warning this time. Cursing, cutting, eating disorders. Yea, it's all in there. You've been warned.

I wasn’t sitting up straight in my chair. Rather sloppy for a normal person, but for a guy that didn’t give a shit? Eh, pretty elegant. However I was damn sure I was going to fall asleep if she continued to ask me dumb-fuck questions.

“When did you first realize you were depressed?”

“When I realized I didn’t die.”

“Levi.”

“Lady.”

“It’s Miss Ral.”

“Don’t care.”

I could see the anger in her eyes, but didn’t react. Honestly I simply wanted to get out of here. It was cold and this whole place smelled like bacteria wipes. To make it even worse, everything was fricking WHITE! Were they trying to blind people here? Was that their way of ‘curing’ patience? And why was I in a stupid hospital gown! I felt so dumb it caused pain.

“This is very serious, Levi. You could have died a week ago.”

Bummer…wouldn’t that have sucked balls. Wonder how I could have fucked that up even worse.

“That was my fucking goal!” I snapped. Something inside me broke and I realized that it was all because I didn’t complete my task. I was still alive and that wasn’t part of the plan. I wasn’t supposed to exist anymore, yet here I sat in this stupid chair, talking to a stupid lady, surrounded by stupid white walls and stupid white floors with stupid bacteria wipes.

I nursed my temples and closed my eyes with a sigh.

“If you really believe that your life is worth so little, then I guess you won’t be leaving this mental health hospital for a while. I’ll show you to your room.”

I didn’t argue with her. I knew once I opened my mouth to the truth of wanting to die that there was no escape. It was some serious revelatory mind-blowing shit though. This lady didn’t realize how smart I was. If I wanted to die, I’d definitely find a way to make it possible.

“You’re going to be rooming by yourself, so consider yourself lucky. Most patience must have a roommate, but we’re all full currently. Keep in mind that if we get a new patience, you might have to share.” I didn’t answer her as she opened my door to my room and flicked on the light, “Oh, your caretaker is waiting in the lobby to check your suitcase in. We can meet him now to grab your things.”

I gritted my teeth. Why was that fuck even here! Always acting like the damn hero! My fists balled at my sides and my veins itched. On god please just let me find something sharp. 

We made our way to the receptionist desk and I crossed my arms and leaned against the back wall. The stupid receptionist lady kept staring at me and blushing as she organized papers, “What the fuck do you think you’re looking at?”

I heard her squeak as she turned completely red and went back to her work. Pfft, people here were unprofessional and stupid. 

“Levi.”

My eyes immediately flashed to the man holding my suitcase. My blood began to pump faster and anger engulfed me, “Erwin.” He wore his perfect black suit just like it was any other day. I wonder just how pissed off he was that he had to leave his office early. Although the joy he was probably feeling from seeing me like this was worth it I’m sure.

“I know this isn’t what you wanted, but for the sake of your health, please give it a try. I’m worried about you.”

That almost made me laugh. Care? Yea fucking right!

“Why did you send me here? I’m completely fine and capable of taking care of myself! I’m not a little fucking kid anymore!”

“Language, Levi.”

“Fuck you!”

“Why do you think I sent you here? To play nice with all the other kids? You tried to KILL yourself. Do you know what that means?”

I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes, “Not like you care. I was doing you a favor.”

“I’m your caretaker and you never tell me anything, Levi.”

“You pretend like I don’t exist!” I stepped closed to him and pulled my suitcase from his hands. Erwin could only glance down at me making me feel so short and useless. Just like I’ve always felt; useless and forgotten.

“Maybe if you talked to me and didn’t lock yourself in your room.”

My blood boiled, “I tell you everything!”

Erwin reached down and took hold of my chin, “You didn’t tell me you wanted to die!”

My gaze fell to the floor and my raven hair swept over my eyes. He didn’t care. He still doesn’t care.

“Let me know when you get better. Until then, have fun.”

He was gone. Just like that my stupid whatever-the-fuck was gone. Some caretaker he was.

-x-x-x-x-

I had made it back to my room and began to unpack my stuff. It was a colorful session, too. “Fucking bitch dick nugget! Thinks he knows me! Heh, news FLASH! I’m in a mental hospital!”  
I’m sure mumbling to myself wasn’t helping my case, but I was pissed! I really needed to calm myself down the only way I knew how, but…’how’ truly was the question. I didn’t have the right tools.

To make it worse, I couldn't even smoke. Not that I really needed to after I picked up my new painting hobby, but it was always nice to have a smoke break. Even hell like this should have that. I groaned at the punishment.

I sat on the edge of my bed and placed my arms on my thighs and my head into my hands. I wasn’t alright anymore and I knew I’d go back to how I was before. Those days were long gone. I was going to find an escape and I wasn’t planning on wasting any time. Oh the ideas that hit me square in the face. I smirked devilishly.

Just a quick piss break never hurt anyone. I checked the halls twice before I leisurely made my way to the bathroom. It was an empty place for sure. Nothing but carts full of gloves and gowns sat in the hallway; super boring and nothing to write home about.

Once I made it, I double checked to make sure the bathroom was clear and then onto the task at hand. 

You see brats, (most) toilets are made out of glass and glass is sharp, which means if you find the right pin-point, you can get ahold of something sharp.

I found my way to the bottom edge of the toilet and began to check for a breaking that I could chip off. I swallowed down the lump in my throat that told me this was completely unsanitary. Fuck, just don’t think about it. You NEED this. 

Fuck. That toilet was in perfect shape. I was praying to whoever would listen that this would work.

I left that stall and into the next.

Once again fuck.

On about the 5th toilet I hit the jack pot. It was rusting at the bottom and with a little strength I could pick a piece off. It would be just big enough for my medicine and relief. 

I picked at it for about five minutes before a shard broke off. The pressure towards the shard had caused my finger to bleed and I stared at it for a while smirking. The sight of blood had my heart racing. Finally. Red.

I left the stall and over towards the sink to wash my hands. As much as I wanted my weapon back, the thought of being near a toilet made me want to throw up. I guess it was all worth it though. As long as I had this, I would be okay. Everything was going to be okay.

I jumped as the bathroom door swung open. Just great. I kept to myself as a boy walked straight past me and B-lined into a stall. From the mirror ahead of me, I could see the reflection of the stalls. The boy’s feet were evident, but he wasn’t standing like he was about to take a shit, no he was on his knees and that meant he was doing one of two things and I’m sure as hell that it wasn’t the ladder. I heard sounds of throwing up cringed. That was my cue to get out.

“Maybe next time you should chew your food, brat.” My hand reached out and opened the door to leave, but there was no answer, just more puking. I rolled my eyes and left, my task was already done here.

-x-x-x-

I made sure to slip the piece of white glass into my pocket, but I needed a better hiding place for it. Once I made it back to my room (without being spotted), I decided before I hid my newly acquired weapon, I’d try it out. After all, new toys needed to be tried before bought. This particular toy wouldn’t be returned though.

I figured I’d have to be quick if I didn’t want to be walked in on. Unlike my house there weren’t locks on the doors or loud depressing music to drown out my miseries. 

I pulled off my hospital gown and made a mental note to change back into my normal clothes once I was done with my activities; something with long sleeves preferably. The glass was broken as such a tender point that the tip was extremely sharp. If this was some toy then there would be about ninety warning labels, 89 of them listing keep out of reach from children. Luckily for me I wasn’t a child and very experienced at this sort of thing. The thought only made my eyes gleam.

It was very serious business picking a spot to paint on. Most of my arm was already colored and I really hated to color on top of other colors. However, I was an inside the lines guy, so as long as it didn’t cross over onto the other pretty drawings, I was alright. My elbow was looking rather left out today and I decided to give it some much needed attention.

The shard pierced into untouched flesh and my whole body felt electrified. It was an orgasmic feeling and it made my lips inched apart and eyes roll back into my head as the glass swept down my skin like a paint brush on paper. Beautiful. Perfect. Crimson dripped down my arm until it couldn’t reach any further, resulting to tiny splashes of blood onto the floor. I made another slash perpendicular to the last one and my arm felt like it was on fire. My heart was beating so fast and my breath was mangled as memories flooded my entire being. I needed to stop. Now wasn’t the right time.

I pulled the glass from my arm and released a longing breath. I was feeling dizzy and my vision was white, but I didn’t have time to dwell on that as I reached into my bag and pulled out a pair of clothes. I found my black long sleeve crew neck shirt and skinny jeans that held the same color. Honestly I didn’t wear black to look like one of those cliché emo kids, but if I decided to have a painting session, it kept everything hidden. Before slipping into my attire, I placed paper towels from the bathroom onto the wound. It stung like a bitch, but that was the well-deserved pain that rebounded after a bit of fun.

For now I would hide the shard into another pair of pants in my bag. I was praying to God no one would find it. That was the only way out of here; the only escape from this living hell.

The door soon cracked and I turned around quickly at my visitor. I had to pat myself on the back at my perfect timing. “Oh, Levi, it’s time for dinner. You can’t skip out either, so I suggest you join.” That same girl from earlier spoke and I crossed my arms and snorted, “Yea, next thing I know you’ll be shoving tubes down my throat.

x-x-x-x-

I followed her down the hall, trying desperately not to itch my new painting. (Didn’t want to smear the paint and such.) I wonder how bat-shit crazy this lady would become if she knew I was turning toilets into weapons. I smirked at the thought. Although I’m sure I wasn’t the only one using toilets for evil. That kid that rushed in earlier was doing a good job, too. You’d think they’d be monitoring the public bathrooms, but then again I’m sure these nurses and doctors couldn’t care less. To them we’re just their job and if we fuck up why should they care? This whole facility was a joke. I wonder how many patients actually graduated or if any of them got out of here? Pfft, guess I’ll find out soon enough.

“Here is a bit of heads up.” We stopped right outside what looked to be the cafeteria. Miss Ral….or whatever the fuck started to speak and I leaned into the white wall trying not to bash my head a number of times. Was this supposed to be second grade all over again? Or perhaps Kindergarten where we all hold onto the rope?

“You need to be attentive and follow the rules here; especially in the cafeteria. Don’t mess with the other patients or aggravate them. No starting fights or teasing them. We don’t want to sedate anyone here and we will if we have to. Every day we have circle therapy and you MUST attend. Same goes for art class. Any other time you can freely watch TV or head to the game room. Otherwise it’s alright to be in your room, too. As long as you respect us and follow the rules, we’ll do the same for you. Any questions?

I begged myself not to yawn as I gave the chick a dead-panned expression.

“An answer would be appropriate.”

“Whatever.”

“Alright, well, go get your tray and enjoy dinner. You can sit wherever you’d like.”

I pushed through the swinging doors and sighed as I stepped inside. People. People everywhere. It may come to a shock to everyone, but I’m not much of a people person. You could go as far to say that I hated people. They were so annoying and asked too many questions. Most of them were loud and talked too much. Don’t even get me started on the girls.

I made my way over towards the line building and grabbed a tray. There must have been about 60 patients in here. Everything was sectioned off, but I wasn’t sure what that meant. Were there clicks here? Ugh, high school all over again. I took my ‘food’ over towards an empty table and began to poke at it. I didn’t believe that what they served was actual food. Maybe this was poisoning all the patients and that’s why they went crazy. Shrugging I shoved a biscuit into my mouth hoping it actually would kill me. 

Fuck, I didn’t feel any different.

“H-hey you must be the new guy.” I paused at the voice and glanced up with a fork placed half way into my mouth. I raised a brow at the boy in front of me. This was the same brat in the bathroom just a bit ago.

His hair was a soft mahogany color and his eyes reminded me of the ocean and emeralds. He wore a baggy green cloak over his body which confused me. Was this some sort of fashion statement? What the heck was his deal anyway? Did I even give a fuck? Nah.

“What the fuck do you want, brat?”

“Why don’t you sit over there with my friends and me?”

I chewed the food in my mouth and placed the fork down onto the table, “Why don’t you leave me alone.” It wasn’t a question.

“It’s good to have friends. You don’t have to be in a bad mood, sheesh.”

“This ‘mood’ is usually how I am every damn day. In fact, I’m never in a good mood, so why don’t you accept that and fuck off like all the other kids.”

“Hey!” The brat crossed his arms and furrowed his brows, “You could at least show a little courtesy. Not many people are nice here.”

I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, “No offense kid, but I don’t give a flying shit. Leave. Me. Alone.”

A tray fell next to mine, followed by a body, “You should learn to be social. This is not the sort of place to push people away.”

My eyes glared into his clover ones and I gritted my teeth, “I don’t think you heard me correctly.”

A hand grabbed onto mine, “It’s Eren…what’s your’s?”

“I don’t associate myself with freaks.” With that I stood up and left him alone at the table. I didn’t bother to eat the rest of my food or talk to the other weirdoes. This was plain stupid and I wasn’t going to stay here for any longer than I had too. My arm was beginning to itch in annoyance. A shower sounded so nice right about now.

 

-x-x-x-x-

I ran my hands through my raven hair as the warm water washed over me. Apparently, there were shower rules, too. Like for one, you couldn’t have razors and if you wanted to shave, someone had to watch you. Sounded like some perversion to me. On top of that, you could only shower in the mornings and at night. The rules here were ridiculous. You basically had to smell and feel like shit all because they thought you were going to kill yourself, but really all it took was some damn toilets to do the job. Fucking idiots!

I climbed out of the shower that was public for everyone and made my way to the bathrooms that were attached next door. My arms were feeling a lot better once I washed them off. The new cuts still stung, but it was a sweet kind of pain. The skin was all bumpy and white and pink crisscrossed over each other like a puzzle. I began to wonder if the scars would stay forever. It didn’t matter anyway. I wasn’t going to be alive forever so who cared, right?

I rubbed my towel into my hair and held onto the one around my waist hoping it would stay. My gaze was averted to the door opening like before. That same damn brat came running in and into a stall. He didn’t notice me like the dumbass he was.

The door was slammed shut and throwing up combined with gaging was heard in an instant. I leaned against the counter as I waited for him to finish. The whole time a smirk crept onto my lips.

Once the brat emerged, he wiped his mouth and went for the sink freezing once he noticed me standing there, “You again…”

“Wonder what could be your issue?”

“The food here is terrible. I often am sick by it.” He narrowed his eyes in anger as he washed his hands, “But not like you, your highness. After all, I’m just some freak, remember?”

I grabbed his free hand which he chose not to wash with the other, “Excuse me, but I’m not the one shoving my fingers down my throat am I?” My toweled body rubbed into the back of his and I was quickly shoved away as teeth gritted, “Shut up! Sorry you have problems, but everyone in here does so get over it and stop acting like a prick.”

“I’m afraid the only person in here with a problem is you, fuck face.”

“At least I didn’t kill someone like you probably did.”

“Don’t give me an invitation.”

“Maybe I should!” He turned his body around so he was facing me. His height rivaled mine, however I was sure he was taller, but I wouldn’t admit defeat.

“Whatever, brat. Just stay out of my way.”

I left the bathroom without another word. I had wasted too much time on him as it was. My head was starting to throb. I could only thank God for the towel wrapped around my arms to hide my past ‘accidents’. God forbid that brat knowing what I had done to myself, but….what he was doing wasn’t much better.

I decided to call it a night. After all, I had to be up at dumb fuck o-clock because apparently we weren’t allowed to sleep here. This place was going to be the death of me. I meant that in more than two ways, too.

I managed to get myself dressed as I slipped into bed. Maybe tomorrow those assholes could find more ways to torture me. Or maybe instead, I could entertain myself with my own little art class. Either way, I wasn’t going to stand by while these jerks slowly kill me. I’d do that part myself.

That night I dreamt of red…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup. So Levi is kind of a dick. xD Anyway, let me know what you all think. I'll update asap!! Sorry for the typos ;;


	3. Lol Bye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know what they say brats, it's down the street, not across. However I wouldn't skip home telling your parents about that. I'd probably tell mine if I had any. Wow, don't I sound like a mood killer. Let's just say I'm not in the best of moods, I was sent to this mental hospital because of a certain sadist and the people here are crazy! Then I get this happy-go-lucky roommate that won't leave me alone! To make it worse we don't have smoke breaks and have to attend circle therapy. All aboard the nope train to hell! Ereri / AU / Yaoi / triggering / suicide / cutting /ED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, once again a new chapter has arrived! I hope you guys enjoy =D Warning once again of all stuff involving suicide, cutting, blood, etc. I think you're all getting the hang of this xD
> 
> Sorry if it seems all out of character. It's my first SNK story anddd I'm not sure what I'm doing, but hey, at least I'm having a blasty blast. ^^ The reviews were awesome! Seriously thank you all dearly!

Have you ever experienced a morning where you rather walk into a volcano than get out of your bed? Maybe turning off your IPhone alarm wasn’t exactly your thing? Perhaps setting yourself on fire was more intriguing? Well, brats, let me tell you that all of those aren’t as bad as some damn lady turning on the LIGHTS to your room at ass-crack o-clock in the morning. I went blind and pain surged through my veins. They already hurt enough as it was. To make it worse, I knew she was here for my vitals which meant I had to pull up my sleeves. My shitty luck.

Well, the scars on my left arm weren’t new, so I pulled that sleeve up before she could ask. I watched her do her thing as I tried to keep myself from drifting back to sleep. This lady looked like she killed someone and by the way she chewed her gum; maybe she was up all night giving blow jobs to some Doctor just so she could have this shitty job. Too bad it didn’t include bathing or deodorant. Ugh. This truly was hell. She left without a word said. The only story you could tell was that she wrote down some stuff on a plain sheet of paper and acted like she gave a shit when really she wanted to set herself on fire like all the rest of us. So many activities! 

The sun wasn’t even up yet, which meant I was going back to sleep!

Not even 15 minutes later, more knocking was found at my door and I was groaning into my pillow shouting every curse word known to man. Let it be known I was NOT a morning person. I hardly slept as it was due it all the nightmares. Then there were the dark circles under my eyes placed there by these damn assholes. For the love of God if they wanted to make it home to their families, they better learn to leave me alone while I sleep. 

I threw my pillow at the door and sat up like a demon would right before their meal.

To my dismay, the pounding on my door never stopped and I forced myself up so I could reach the door to fuck up whoever decided to well….fuck up. Too bad when I opened it that stupid nurse was grinning at me with a binder in her arms, “Goooood morning, Levi! It’s Miss Ral again. It’s time for your shower and then skip off to breakfast! I suggest you hurry because we’ll have our circle therapy session after that and you definitely won’t want to miss it!”

“Oh gee, I wonder how many ways I can kill myself before that happens.”

“Not funny in the slightest, Levi.”

“Does it appear I’m trying to be funny? I’m dead frickin’ serious.”

We stared each other down for a few moments, “Do I need to sedate you?”

“Does it get me a ‘get out of therapy free’ card?”

“Just get dressed and eat.” I watched her turn on her heels and leave. Pfft, guess not.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

I spent enough time slogging in the shower for one day. It involved parts of potties and sprinkles of red that raced down the drain. It was peaceful in the shower because you knew no one was going to walk in on you and I felt like I could do my daily routine without worry.

I left a few new cuts on my hip bones, but nothing deep, just enough to satisfy me until later. Kinda like a quick pick me up before you start a long day that contained about a carton of sighs and headaches that wouldn’t disappear until you snapped your neck.

I lazily made my way into the cafeteria, completely ticked once I walked through the swinging doors to find about as much noise as an active tornado in spring. I nursed my temples slowly and let out a long deserved sigh. Did people know the meaning of calming peace? 

I plopped down at the same table as yesterday and stared frightened at the food before me. Was this legally called food? I pushed it around with my fork as I leaned my chin into my propped up arm that rested on the table. I almost hated this place as much as I hated Erwin. 

It came as a shock to me that I didn’t see the small boy in that weird green cloak. I was ashamed at myself for glancing around the cafeteria to see if I could spot him, but all I saw were annoying patients with loud mouths. There were only a few empty tables in the whole cafeteria and I was the only person sitting alone. I think after last night the patients knew that I wasn’t to be messed with. Maybe that shitty brat was starting to get the hint. After all, I wasn’t exactly kind to him last night, but it was for the best. The last thing I needed was a friend to get attached to before I off myself.

Not to say I was the type to become attached or make friends. If anything, I thought myself to be isolated and pushed people away. I found friendships and relationships troublesome, as if they held you back and gave you a profound weakness. The way I looked at it, the more I pushed people away, the fewer problems I’d have to take on. Not like I had any right to gloat. I wasn’t exactly in some private school at the top of my class, but hey, to educate you, Erwin was the reason why I was in here so if I would have followed my standards a little closely, I’d probably not be in here eating this shitty food, dealing with shitty people.

I noticed patience staring me down, some even whispering about me. Others couldn’t give a flying fuck and kept to their food almost worshiping it. Being in this room was beginning to give me a headache, so I quickly shoved down the rest of my food (without puking I might add) and left to head back to my bed.

It wasn’t even 2 minutes after returning that I was called to therapy. I rolled over on my side and groaned into my pillow hoping that the bags under my eyes would explode and I would have a nice quick death. Otherwise it’s going to be a slow one in that damned room with stupid people talking and being much more annoying than needed.

I stepped inside the room and crossed my arms for warmth. Why the hell was it so cold in here? Was I missing something? Was this some form of therapy? As cliché as this sounds, the only thing I could describe about this room was the circle of chairs. They were those stupid plastic colored chairs that you found in 1st grade that made your ass go numb. Besides that, there was a fake plant in the corner and a picture frame on the wall with a garden and a waterfall. Even the smell was boring. It reminded me of a hotel room when you first entered.

Accepting my fate, I sat down in one of the chairs and stared straight ahead at what looked to be the therapist.

She had her hair tied messily in a bun with a white button down and slacks on. I was confused as to why she had a smile plastered on her face. She couldn’t seriously be happy about working here, could she? I averted my eyes to all the patients piling in. I tried not to glance to my left when the boy in the green cloak sat next to me. Shocker. Although the kid had guts, especially after last night.

“Alright everyone, come take a seat while I start to pass out these sheets of paper!” The therapist started to hand out paper and everyone passed them around confused. I took one and raised a brow at the highlighted topic.

‘Mommy and daddy don’t love me’

This was a joke, right? I almost wanted to laugh, but I was afraid I’d scare the shit out of everyone and get sedated and I wasn’t in the mood for that at the moment.

“Sooooo my name is Hange ZOE! I am going to be your group therapist while you’re here.”

“We already heard your spill before, so shut up!” This one kid spoke from across the way.

Hange was quick to her feet and pointed a shaky finger at the said kid, “We have a new patient, so you better shut it and pay attention, Kirstein!”

“Or what?” The kid stood up and crossed his arms with a smirk on his face. I mentally head-desked at his stupidity. Did we really have time for this?”

“Or I’ll have to sedate you!”

“I’d like to see you try.” He retorted.

“Jean, sit down!” An arm shot up and wrapped around the kid’s (Jean I suspect) arm. “Just let her speak. Maybe the other patients don’t understand everything yet.”

“Yea, whatever.” I was shocked when the ashen hair kid sat back down. The guy sitting next to him had distinct freckles on his face and the expression he gave the other boy told a lot of stories. Sheesh, this place was such a freak show.

“Shut up horse face. The more you complain, the longer we have to remain in here.” I tried not to smirk at her insult. The loud mouth really did have a horse face.

“Heh, funny for you to say, Annie. This topic has YOU written all over it!”

“Why don’t you say that with my foot up your ass?” The girl with blonde hair jumped out of her seat and bawled her fists at her side. 

“Okay, that is enough from the both of you! We’re starting our session now, so if anyone wants to take a fun trip to the sedation room, be my guest. Otherwise, sit down and shut up.”

Everyone got quiet as Hange raised her voice, but I started to reconsider that sedation room after 5 minutes in here. Why was everyone so loud! 

“Now, I see that we have a new patient.” She cleared her throat, “Levi, why don’t you stand up and say a little something about yourself.”

“Can I pass?”

“Does it look like I gave you that option?” For some reason I felt a little intimidated with her reply and decided to simply say something. Anything would do.

“I’m Levi and I hate speaking more than I have to.” I sat back down and crossed my arms. Hange didn’t look impressed with my short speech which was a little bit of a letdown cause I tried really hard on it. Whatever, couldn’t please everyone with my efforts today.

“Thanks, Levi. Glad to know you enjoy my class so much. Now before we get into topic, I have to ask, Eren….why weren’t you at breakfast this morning?” 

All eyes turned towards the boy in green. His face was ghostly white and his copper hair hung over his eyes masking out the deep red that beheld them. I began to wonder if he was alright, but I wasn’t one to ask. I didn’t give a shit, remember? 

“I-I was there. You must have missed me.” He hid his face away and pulled his knees up onto his chair and wrapped them in his cloak. The kid was absolutely freezing. Didn’t they see that? His lips were chapped and I could see goose bumps on his ankles that shown right above where his socks ended.

“I didn’t see you and you know what happens if you skip a meal, don’t you?”

“Yes I know, but I was there.” He spoke out just a little louder, but his voice was incredibly meek, more so than it was yesterday.

“Did anyone see Eren today at breakfast?” Hange asked as she leaned back in her chair and adjusted her glasses.

No one spoke a word and glances were tossed around the room in silence.

“Anyone?”

I watched as Eren lowered his gaze and bit his lip nervously.

“I’m sorry, but Eren, we’re going to have to s-“

“He was at my table this morning. He left rather quickly today, that’s all. You all just missed him.” Why did I say that? I almost wanted to slap my hands over my mouth like I just said a dirty word. What the fuck was up with me today? Were the bacteria wipes getting to my head? What the fuck, Levi, what the fuck.

The look Eren gave me was priceless. For everything else, there’s MasterCard……ha…haha, okay not exactly the time for jokes, but seriously. The shitty brat became even paler if possible.

“Oh, well in that case, you’re excused, Eren, but you better start letting one of the nurses know when you eat because otherwise you could get into serious trouble.” 

Eren nodded slowly, “Sorry, I know.”

The therapists four eyes were then thrown over towards me, “And I really hope you’re telling the truth, Levi. This is very serious stuff, especially coming from a patient with Eren’s level of eating disorder.”

“Thanks for letting everyone know, Miss Zoe!” Eren gritted his teeth and wrapped his arms around his knees as he bashed his head into them in what appeared to be embarrassment.

“I’m only saying this for your protection, Eren. You’re here to get better and so is everyone else. Maybe you should appreciate that and work on improving.”

“I am improving, but I’d be really obliged if you kept your trap shut when it came to my personal life!”

“Eren, calm down.”

“No! You always point out everyone’s problems as if they’re nothing, but in reality you’re making everyone hate me!”

“Eren, please.” Hange stood up and walked towards Eren who remained curled up into a ball on his chair.

“Leave me alone.”

“Eren, let’s just talk about this. No one thinks anything of your problems.” Her hand reached out to touch him.

“Everyone thinks I am a FREAK!” He slapped her out-stretched hand away and quickly made his way to the exit of the room. The door slammed as he left and Hange returned to her seat with a sigh and a press to her glasses at the bridge of her nose.

“Now then, back to our lesson for the day!” 

My eyes darted to the empty chair beside me as Hange spoke. Should I have backed him up earlier? Maybe if I wouldn’t have said anything she wouldn’t have talked about his disorders. So the brat can’t eat? Wonder why. Isn’t food supposed to be the most wonderful gift to a teenage kid? Then again, the food here was beginning to give me an eating disorder, too. I sighed as I directed my attention back to our ‘lesson’.

“So, how many of you guys suspect you have mommy and daddy issues? It’s okay to admit it, we all kind of do, but today we’re going to embrace it and hug ourselves!” Hange wrapped her arms around her body in a full out stupid hug. It was amusing.

“Everyone hug yourself, because loving yourself is important.” I watched as each of the patients awkwardly hugged themselves. I sat there with a droned look plastered on my face. You’ve got to be kidding me.

“Levi, you must embrace yourself and tell yourself, hey, I love me and me is good.”

“No.”

“Oh but I insist!” Hange stood up and skipped over to my chair. She took hold of my arms and I backed up, “Don’t fucking touch me lady.”

“I wouldn’t have to if you only hugged yourself.”

Oh. My. God. I was about to sling myself off a cliff. Please make it stop. I quickly hugged myself lazily before she touched me any longer.

“There. Now stop.” I watched her return to her chair with a grin on her face. Freakin’ sadistic maniac is what she was.

“I really love researching you guys and I find that loving yourself is the first step of acceptance.”

“Yea, but…what if we don’t love ourselves?”

A frown captivated her face, “Well I guess we’ll have to work on that, won’t we, Marco?”

Freckle kid nodded as he blushed awkwardly. This class was starting to get old and luckily for me I dozed off into day dream land while she yacked on about how we can ‘face’ our mommy and daddy issues. Seriously, not everyone was in here because of their parents. Hell, I didn’t have any, remember?

“Okay, you’re all dismissed. Just remember tomorrow that you’re going to give me an answer for how to improve your life style while loving yourself more.” I was taken aback when she hugged herself again, “And as you can see, since I started to love myself, I’m completely gay!”

“Uhh….gay?”

Hange blinked twice in confusion, “Yea, happiness, Connie.” She said it in such a duh voice I almost chuckled.

The boy with a buzz cut snorted, “That means you like the same sex.”

“Not in my class it doesn’t!”

“I guess I can freely say that Marco and Jean are totally gay then!” Connie giggled to himself and I saw the said boys look away while freckles turned beat red.

Figured.

Everyone headed towards the exit and I followed suit hoping that none of them would touch me. I was becoming rather antsy and was needed alone time. Maybe even a little one-on-one time with toilet la sharde’. It sounded pretty fucking elegant to me.

I made my way outside the door and that stupid horse face kid grabbed my shoulder, “Hey you.”

I sharply turned on my heels and pushed him back against the door, “Don’t touch me.”

“Chill it dude. Yikes! I was just going to chat with you since you’re the new thing around here.”

“Thanks but no thanks. I like my personal space. In fact, you could call me an anti-social bastard.”

The kid cringed, “No one needs that much personal space.”

“I have so much of it that I even have my own zip code. So don’t approach me.” I left quickly with a whisper of ‘what a dick’ behind my back. Too bad I couldn’t care less.

-x-x-x-x-

 

The day had passed by slowly. I went to art class and did nothing and returned for lunch where I sat by myself and once again did nothing. Shocking I know. Although, I did find it odd that cloak kid wasn’t joining the rest of us at lunch. If Hange or any of the nurses found out, he could be in serious trouble. I wasn’t prepared to cover for his ass again. That could mean trouble for me and there was no way I was risking my tail for a dumb shit like him.

I wondered where he went after he marched out of therapy. He looked rather distressed.

I rolled over onto my side and yawned. If I had it my way, I’d be strung up by one of these lights on the ceiling. I was thinking too much about stupid stuff that had no relevance to me. Why should I care if that kid disappears… or worse, dies? It’s not my problem. I like my personal space, remember? I had to remind myself of that. I had a job to finish, too. A job that involved death, blood, and peaceful silence.

Yes, forever silence.

Within the confines of my mind, I fell asleep. 

My mind played games with me and brought back memories to when I was a child. The dream was fuzzy and it felt like I was looking through a straw at the familiar scene.

My arms were dripping with blood and I was shaking. My parents were both dead beside me and flames engulfed my surrounding area. Scared. I was so scared. My timid hand reached out towards the empty one before me.

“It’s okay, child, I’m here to save you.”

My eyes were blood shot with steaming tears falling down my cheeks, “W-who are you?”

He wore a mask over his face, but I could see bits of blond hair spilling out from behind the mask, “It’s Erwin, what’s your’s?”

“L-Levi…”

I was swept up into arms as big hands embraced me, “Don’t worry Levi, I won’t let you die here.”

My straw vision of memories faded into black and I tossed in turned in my sleep as dreams flipped into nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ^^ Hopefully this was a good read. I'm likely going to update tomorrow. I have already started the new chapter. xD Yay! It might be posted tonight if I get to it lol.
> 
> So yes, I decided to write a little about my life and relation to this story. So I actually was in a mental hospital once and it sucked. Like wow... o.o In circle therapy all I did was sleep cause of the pills they gave me. I was a lot like Eren, except I had a blanket wrapped around me and the chairs were super uncomfortable. All they talked about was drinking problems, too. lol. I wasn't in there for drinking btw. You might find out what for one of the chapters xD
> 
> Anyway, please review 8D I'd love to hear from you guys!


	4. Kicking the Bucket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for posting this a bit late. At least I got it done! It's just slightly shorter than the last chapter, but I will be for SURE updating in the next three days. I predict Thursday. This chapter might be a little messy to read, but I'll beta it when I get the time. Work has been way too insane. o.o
> 
> Same warnings apply as usual ^^

“Levi, it’s time for dinner!”

I jolted from my sleep and into a sitting position on my bed as I gripped my shirt into my palm. My body was sweating and my heart was beating out of my chest. Fucking nightmares.

“Levi, did you hear me?”

“Yea yea, whatever. I’ll be there in a bit.” Miss Wall…or whatever her name was left and I fell back against my pillow and shut my eyes slowly. I needed to calm down.

I ran my hands over my face and waited for my heart to beat normally again. This place was causing me to have night terrors and it wasn’t even night! I was surprised it was already dinner time. I must have been out for a while.

Groggily I got out of bed and headed towards the cafeteria for another eventful meal alone.

My mind began to drift off towards the nightmares I was having. It was always about my past which pissed me off. Couldn’t it have been something that never happened? At least I would know it wasn’t real.

I stopped in my tracks once I noticed a green cloak. But said boy was not heading in the direction he was supposed to be.

“Hey brat, I know you’re not the brightest bulb on a string of lights, but isn’t the cafeteria that way?”

I watched as his back froze to my words and he turned around slowly with his arms crossed over his chest, “I’m not feeling well, so count me out. The food from lunch made me sick.”

“Really now? How was lunch by the way? What did we have again? Please enlighten me.”

“J-just shut up!” A finger came flying out at me and I raised a brow. What a child.

“Since when did you start giving a shit? It’s my life and my choice, so fuck off.”

Wow, the brat had a mouth on him. Wonder what got him so boiled.

“Relax. A thank you would suffice after I covered your ass earlier.”

He turned away reluctantly so his back was facing me, “Yea, but you also humiliated me in front of everyone. Thanks for nothing.”

Little shit.

I marched down the hall and took hold of his wrist and pushed him back against the wall. He was incredible light and his wrist felt like a toddlers. He winced once he made contact with the back of the wall and his legs buckled beneath him having him collapse against me, “Shit.”

“Nng, thanks….once again for being an asshole. You’re on a roll today; maybe you should leave me alone...unless you enjoy causing me pain. Is that what you’re in for? Sadistic behavior?”

“Shit head!” I released his body and watched as he crashed into the floor, “At least I’m not slowly ki-“ My words halted as I shut my mouth before I could say another sound. Was I really the same as him? But I wanted to die, it was my goal. Maybe this stupid brat was the same way, but….why? Who’d want to be like me? He couldn’t possibly understand.

“Not slowly what?” He struggled to get back onto his feet and used the wall as leverage, “Maybe I don’t know you or whatever, but I can clearly see you’re fucked up like the rest of us. At first I wanted to be your friend, but I don’t care anymore. I don’t need anyone. I am doing this on my own.”

I was itching to ask him what ‘this’ implied, but decided that I had done enough talking for one day.

“Fine by me, but don’t come crying to me when they sedate you or worse.” I headed towards the cafeteria without another word. There was nothing left I could say, the moron was on his own now. Just like how I’ve been my entire life. Or so it feels like.

 

x-x-x-x-x-

Dinner wasn’t at all exciting. The food imitated lunch and I began to worry I was losing weight since I stepped into this hell. No wonder that brat had an eating disorder. I sighed as I forced it down my throat. It was weird to crave McDonalds over this, which was really saying a lot since that food was practically rat poison.

As I expected, Eren didn’t show up. I saw a few nurses searching the area and I assumed it was because they couldn’t find him. My guess was, he wouldn’t be around tomorrow. Not after his stupidity grabbed him by the ear. But I honestly didn’t care that much. Now with him gone it will be much more peaceful. More activities to be done.

Once dinner was over with, I had no idea what to do. I ended up going back to my room and contemplated whether or not to fuck around with that toilet piece, but the thought of someone interrupting me made the idea less appealing. If there was something I detested, it was being interrupted during my alone time.

I lay back on my bed with my arms thrown over my head and shut my eyes slowly. This place was probably what prison was like, except more crazy people. I felt myself already going into autopilot and I swear I’ll destroy myself before I become a slave to my own mind. I wasn’t pathetic and weak like the rest of the patients here. I was going to complete my mission whether they liked it or not. After I’m done, they’ll be wishing they did their jobs right. The thought of their disappointment made me snicker. Fuck faces. All of them.

“Levi, it’s time for therapy.”

I glared at the door venomously, “Hey, maybe try knocking next time. I could have been jacking off.”

The usual nurse as always blushed and turned away with a snort, “figures you’d be that type. Now stop your jabbering and go to the room at the end of this hall. It’s 22.”

I lazily sat up with a sigh, “Oh, what? You’re not that type of girl?”

Her mouth opened as if she’d retort, but she decided against it and stepped out of my way to let me by.

“Hm..” I looked back at her once last time before I casually made it to room 22. 

Entering the room, I found it was as boring as the rest of them; except this room was colder. I hated the cold. It reminded me of the circle therapy room and the image of Eren curled into a ball on that plastic chair entered my mind. Shit that kid. I hope he dies so my mind stops going back to him. It’s probably because of how stupid he is. I have this bizarre fascination with dumb people. Kind of similar to Erwin…..except Erwin isn’t stupid, just a huge asshole. I sighed trying to remove all thoughts out of my mind while flopping myself into the large leather chair with my feet dangling over the arm.

“Hi, Levi.”

I blinked slowly up at the man before me, or….therapist by the looks of him. He sported a black tie with a white button up. He was damn wrinkly and had his hair cut similar to mine, except he was a blond. His presence came off to me as haughty and it irritated me. Hopefully this won’t take long.

“Do you have to sit like that?”

I raised a brow, “do you have to look like that?”

“Why you- how about you pay attention. This is serious.”

I sighed and leaned back in my chair, “Go on.”

“My name is Oluo Bozado. I’m going to be your therapist while you’re here.” I watched as he placed his pen to his lips as he stared at me.

“Whatever.”

He pulled out a note pad and cleared his throat, “How is your family life, Levi?”

“Dead.”

“Okay, but I hear you have a caretaker. What is he like?”

I crinkled my nose, “He is a fucking asshole who only cares about himself.”

“I see, I see.” He wrote something down on the pad and I rolled my eyes.

“How do you like school? Do you have friends?”

“No, I don’t like people.” I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes.

“Explain?”

“What is there to say? People are fucking annoying. They ruin everything and you can’t rely on them. Plus, they talk! Then they get attached and then…then they fucking-“ I went mute and bit my lower lip, “You get the jest.”

“You can elaborate.”

“I have nothing more to say.”

“Why did you try to kill yourself?”

“Why do you ask?”

“It’s my job.”

I stood up from my chair, “And I don’t have to answer.”

“Levi, if you plan to ever get out of here, you’re expected to cooperate with us.”

I sat back down and furrowed my brows, “I don’t have anything else to say. My life is boring. Back at home I did nothing, but my homework when I felt like it. I listened to music and cleaned the house when I was bored….which if you were wondering was all the fucking time! I don’t know why I tried to kill myself. All I have to say is it would have been worth it if I actually succeeded.”

“Fine.” The therapist crossed his legs and sighed, “One last question, Levi.”

“Yes?”

“Do you still want to die?”

I chuckled and shook my head, “Are we done here?”

“Answer the question.” 

I stood up and walked towards the door opening it, “Yes.” With that I left without another word.

There was no point in lying. He already knew what was on my mind; it was his job after all. I had nothing left to say. In fact, all I wanted to do now was be alone and given that it was close to bed time, I knew what I was going to be doing.

I began to head back to my room with my hands slipped inside my pocket. My bare feet felt good against the cold tiled floor. It reminded me when I was a kid and I’d wake up to watch morning cartoons. My mom always had the TV sitting in the kitchen and I would run down stairs across the cold tiled floor and slip up onto the bar tool to eat my bowl of frosted flakes while watching Pokemon. Those were the days….but they are long gone now.

“-then Eren was sedated. I can’t believe he would do that.”

I froze in my steps and turned towards the right. There were those boys from earlier. Freckles and horse shit. I leaned up against the wall and listened in.

“Why would he risk that? I mean, Eren’s been in here for how long? Doesn’t he want to get out?”

“I don’t know, Marco. I figured after all these years he’d start to eat. Sometimes he does well, in fact, he had gained a little weight, but ever since that new kid got here, he’s been wavering.”

“Huh…wonder why?”

“Who knows, but he’ll probably be switched to a room with high lock down security now that they caught him purging. Stupid idiot.”

“We should try and help him, Jean.”

“Nah, count me out. I don’t have time to deal with that guy. Besides, I already have to deal with you and that’s enough.”

I heard them coming my way and began to walk as before.

“Let’s head back to our room now.”

“Okay- huh, hey….you’re the new kid.” I paused at Freckle fuck’s words.

“Tch, so?”

“Where are you heading?”

I didn’t answer him as I moved forward. I had no more time to waste here.

“Come on, Marco. Let’s leave the prick alone. He probably bites.”

I ignored them as I made it back to my room. I couldn’t resist my bed and buried myself in the blankets after turning the lights off.

Alone.  
Darkness.  
Silence.  
And a sharp object along with my unfiltered thoughts.

I ran my fingertips over my previous scars and thought about why. It’s everything that stupid therapist kept asking. Why! Why would I tear my body up? Why would I hurt myself every day to the brink of death? Why would I come home every day and lock myself in my room? Why do I shut everyone out? Why do I still want to die? Why didn’t I die in that fire with my parents like I SHOULD have!

I tore the piece of glass into my skin and felt tears drifting in my eyes. I took a deep breath and bit my lip. My eyes were burning, but it couldn’t be tears. No, I had not a clue what it was like to cry. Emotions didn’t exist with me amongst other things.

I could smell the metal; I could feel it’s stickiness between my fingers. Was I really a monster? I had to be with what I was doing, but regardless I didn’t care. I made another insertion along my vein on my wrist. Then another, and another, and fuck it, why not have a party on my vein. I already went this far that I kicked the bucket off the edge, myself included. 

My breathing was etched. I went numb and my brain spun while my heart hammered in my chest. I wiped the sweat from my brow which rendered effortless from the blood that remained on my fingers. I was a mess and I was losing blood fast. 

Was I prepared to die like this? At least Erwin wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore. He can have everything he’s ever wanted now.

I felt so cold. Why the fuck was it so cold in here? I shut my eyes tightly and rolled over onto my side. I needed to throw up. Everything was on fire, but so frigid at the same time. I dug my fingers into my hair and tried to calm myself down. If I cut myself again maybe I would die faster. This was too delayed and I felt like fuck.

I squeezed the glass shard into my hand and waited for the pain, but if it was there, I’d never realize. My body was slipping and I knew this was the exact feeling as the last time. Yes, that’s right, Levi, you’re dying. You hear that! Dying! As in going away and never coming back! At least I can see my parents. What should I tell them? A good start would be, ‘well at least I didn’t die before you guys. It’s not all that bad.’ Ugh fuck this. Fuck it all. That shitty brat is probably going to laugh at me once I’m dead; or perhaps joining me. Wouldn’t that be ironic!

Suddenly I felt extremely sleepy. I couldn’t help but to think of Erwin. He was my caretaker, but also a workaholic. He made sure I ate, slept, and went to school, but even then he was lacking. He didn’t love me; he was just doing his damn job. 

What was unconditional love?

I finally slipped into darkness. No, I walked into it. I wanted this…

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Death is so inviting, but at the same time the most horrifying experience. You start to forget everything and the only thing surrounding you are deafening sounds and blinding lights. I saw this. I felt this.

But then that stupid fucking nurse didn’t know to leave me alone and god forbid she fucking knock.

I wasn’t sure where I was, but I heard a loud beeping sound that reminded me of my alarm clock. I tried to open my eyes, but they felt glued shut. I decided against trying and let sleep consume me. Or perhaps this is death?

I don’t remember dreaming, but my body began to rustle again. I forced my eyes open, telling myself I had to awake. I needed to know where I was.

It was all hazy, but my breath fell like water in my lungs. I couldn’t focus on anything, it was completely blurry, but then that green cloak was there and I realized, hey…I might actually be dead. However that assumption shattered once I saw him wrapped up with gauze, “Hey, Levi, glad you’re awake.” He smiled. The shit head smiled. Was I not dead or..?

“So guess what?”

Did he truly expect me to answer? I felt dead, I couldn’t move my toes. Where was I? Ugh, is that the smell of damned bacteria wipes?

“We’re roommates! Funny how that works, but then again, who knew we had something in common.”

I tried to open my mouth to talk, but I felt mute. I rolled onto my side and began to cough frantically, “W-what’s that, dumbass?”

“We both want to die.”

Reality hit me like a ton of fucking bricks and I realized that dying wasn’t going to be that easy and given how there were bars on all of the windows and everything was even whiter in here, this wasn’t going to be easy…..and fuck me to hell they have my toilet la sharde. Goddamnit it all.

“Stop grinning brat, before I make you.”

This was truly the start of hell. Maybe I did die after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading this ^^ You should keep up with the comments cause I love hearing from you all =D
> 
> So, as I said before, I'm going to share another fun experience from when I was at a mental health hospital. In this last chapter, I thought i would elaborate on the therapist a bit more. We did have to talk to them and they asked questions like that. It seemed they'd check mark stuff on a piece of paper, but nothing too interesting. I remember it taking forever and being cold. That's seriously about it. Other than that, I didn't have a cafeteria, just a long white table that I ate at with all the other patients in my ward. Super boring stuff xD
> 
> Until next time ^^


	5. Eye of the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update! I was really busy last week, but i have the next chapter ready! I hope you guys like it!

How could I have screwed that up any more than I possibly have? I even got that dumbass in this packaged deal and honestly I wonder how to downsize on this ‘gift’.

I was lying back on my new bed with my arm thrown over my eyes to block the blinding ceiling lights. It was so fucking white in here. I glared onto my wrapped up arm and rolled my eyes. 

‘Thunk’   
‘Thunk’  
‘Thunk’

“Shitty brat….” I warned as he continued to toss the foam Nerf ball against the wall.

“What? It’s boring, so don’t blame me if I try and entertain myself.”

“A little less noise would suffice.”

“This isn’t much noise at all.”

I sat up moving to the loud mouth’s bed grabbing the squishy ball before it could return to its owner, “well it’s mine now.”

“HEY! Give that back!”  
I ignored him as I returned to my bed without a sound. Once I laid back down, I tucked the ball under my pillow and sighed as I shut my eyes, “Now zip it and let me sleep.”

There was a long pause which confused me. When I opened my eyes there was that fucking brat right in front of my view, “Shit!”

“Hey! I want it back!” He held out his hand like a damn two year old and I snorted, “Nope, not happening.”

“I’m bored!”

“Does it look like I give a shit? Go find some other way to entertain yourself ‘cause I ain’t doing it.”

He reached over me towards my pillow, “No, It’s mine and you’re going to return it!” 

I hissed and flipped him over my legs and onto his back pinning him down, “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Wow, for a short guy, you’re pretty strong.”

A catty smirk stretched across my lips, “Well it’s not like you weigh anything.”

I saw his face go cold as he suddenly nudged me hard into my abdomen, “Great, now get off.”

“What? Wrong thing to say?”

I heard him scoff and return to his bed. His prior personality completely flew out the window.

There was a deafening silence as I shut my eyes and hoped for sleep to take me. At least it was quiet.

“Ya’know, Levi.”

Damn. That was short lived.

“You don’t see me commenting on your arms or other body parts, so I’d really appreciate it if you kept your mouth shut about my weight.”

I rolled onto my side and glared at the brunette, “Does it look like I fucking care about you? I don’t know you nor do I ever plan to. You can fucking die for all I care and it would matter. In fact, at least it would be quiet and I’d have my own room again, so maybe you should try asking for my opinion when I care; which in your case is never.” I turned away and let out a sigh hoping that maybe I could fall asleep. When I didn’t get a reply, I felt my heart do this whole jump thing. What the hell was wrong with me? I meant what I said. That stupid brat doesn’t mean anything to me. I didn’t have time for him or anyone else. I simply wanted to be left alone. 

I was beginning to doze off in all this frustration. It hadn’t even been a few days and I was becoming weary. This whole place was a nightmare and I was living it. Without noticing I drifted off asleep.

-x-x-x-x-

 

“Get up, Levi. It’s time for your medication.”

I sat up in my bed and shook the sleep from my eyes, “Medication? What are you talking about?” 

“Well, your dumbass landed you on medication, so get used to it.” Miss Ral handed me a cup of water and 2 pills.

“I don’t feel safe taking these, what are they?”

“Shut up and take them. You’re not allowed to ask questions anymore after your little stunt. Get used to it.”

I took the pills with a snort, meanwhile noticing the little brat was missing.

“He’s at lunch.”

I directed my eyes to my nurse, “Hn.”

“I’m just surprised you care.”

“Hardly. Let’s just say I wish I could be seeing less of him. I like the quiet.”

“Yea?” Miss Ral took my water cup and walked towards the exit, “Too bad the quiet doesn’t like you.” And with that she left.

That lady was starting to piss me off, but on the contrary I probably got her in trouble given that I am her patient. Sighing for the millionth time today, I walked to the cafeteria to eat.

Upon arriving with my tray in hand, I noticed Eren sitting at a table with only himself and a nurse. He was arguing with the boy, although I couldn’t make out what they were saying. The brat looked annoyed and the nurse looked like he wanted to smash his face into a moving truck.

“Hey, Levi.” The nurse beside Eren called out.

I made a B-line to my usual table, repeating the words ‘not my problem’ over and over inside my head. 

“Hey!”

I stopped, setting my tray down on the table, and turned around, “Excuse me?”

“You’re his roommate right?” 

I sighed and raised a brow at the troubled brat who by the looks of it hadn’t touched his food.

“What of it?”

“Has he been eating?”

“Obviously not if he is in the same room with me. Now stop asking dumb-fuck questions and leave me alone.” I sat at the table and threw down some crackers and grapes.

“As I was saying Jaeger, no one ever sees you eat anymore and since it’s becoming a problem I’m considering hooking you up on the feeding tubes again.”

I watched as the idiot grimaced and bashed his head into the table, “I’m just not feeling well today, can’t you accept that and stop hounding me all the time?”

“You’re not feeling well because you’re starving yourself. I’m sure once you eat, you’ll realize that you feel great.” The nurse crossed his arms, “Just eat the crackers and grapes and we’ll talk about the sandwich later.”

“I’m not. It will only make me sick.”

“Eren…I’m not playing games with you.”

“I’m not either.” He raised his voice and pushed the tray away.

“Fine.” The nurse stood up and grabbed the tray, “We’ll see how you like being fed by a tube then.”

He walked off with the moron’s tray and I watched as the kid bit into his hand like a masochist. Why was he doing that? Maybe he had more problems than he let out, but I’m sure if a nurse saw him biting himself, they’d stick him with another disorder. Goddamnit this brat was a mess.

I approached him and slammed my tray down on the table taking a seat beside him, “Ya’know, you’re really starting to piss me off.”

“Walk away then. I’m not forcing you to stay.”

I growled and grabbed his hand from his mouth, “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” He turned away and dropped his hand under the table and onto his lap, “Stay out of it.”

“You said we’re not much different, but then I wasn’t the one using my own teeth to tear myself apart.”

“No.” Eren grabbed a grape from my plate and brought it up to his lips, “You needed a little more of leverage, but unlike you, I can use what I have to destroy myself. I don’t need anything fancy.” He squeezed the grape between his fingers and flinched once the juice touched his lips.

“You’re pathetic.” I chuckled to myself and moved my tray to the corner of the table, “So you bite yourself to keep the food cravings away. Therefore you actually like food huh? Question is: why did you stop eating?”

“I dunno, Levi, why did you start cutting yourself.”

“Don’t direct this back at me you damn brat!”

“Stop acting like you know me then!” I watched as he gritted his teeth then looked away. This kid had so many layers he piled on top of himself and now it’s to the point that he drowning in his own vomit. Too bad after all this time I still didn’t give a shit.

“This was a nice chat; I look forward to the next one.” I sarcastically spat as I stood up, leaving my tray, and left.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Arts and crafts: It used to be my favorite part of the day, but now I found myself wanting to shove my paint brush into someone’s eye. This class existed only to ruin my life and I felt like I was plunging head first into ‘no diving’ zone. All the patients here looked crazy. Most of them were the same as in therapy, but as the days passed on I felt as though I was losing my sanity. This was how I really die. It wasn’t by my own hands, nooo, in fact this was all my stupid guardian-satanic-fuck’s fault. He wanted me here just so I would lose my mind and ask him to stick the knife himself.

“Hey are you okay man? You look really pale.”

I glared to my left and noticed freckles and sneered, “Do you actually believe anyone here is okay?”

“Marco, don’t talk to that prude. He’s probably the one eating the dead rats in this place. Who knows what diseases he has.”  
“Jean, calm down. Levi is just a little flustered from lunch is all.” 

I was surprised the brat showed up, but by the looks of it, he was feeling better. Wonder what could have changed his mood suddenly.”

“Brat.”

“Asshole.”

“You better watch your language.”

“Or what, mom?”

I gritted my teeth, “If you really think your scrawny ass can take me then by all means, let’s fight!”

Eren leaned over and took my paint brush from my hand, “Relax hot shot, no one gives a shit about you, not even me.” Eren turned away with flushed cheeks, “Isn’t that how you put it?”

“Just shut up and stick to your side of the table you damned brat.”

I was starting to get confused by this idiot. Maybe he actually hated me? Well I was being an asshole to him, but it wasn’t like he was doing any better. He was either sour or sweet, but a huge part of me wanted to unfold him and understand how he played both sides of a coin. What made him tick? What buttons did I have to push? Fuck, I don’t care! I am not thinking about this stupid dumbass anymore! I grinded my nails into the table and lowered my gaze. 

“Pardon me, but can you pass the paint?”

I peered up from the table and onto a blonde petit girl with big blue eyes. 

“Whatever, does it look like I give a rat’s ass.”

Blondie grinned at me taking the paints, “Well there is no need for frowns in art class.”

“Yea, well there is no need for all that smiling too. Butt out.”

“Hey! Watch how you talk to her!” Two fists slammed down in front of me and I jumped back arching a brow.

“Hn, blondie has a body guard.”

“Don’t ever talk to Krista like that again.” I could see her nostrils flare and her brunette hair fell over her eyes. Sheesh, everyone here had major problems and I felt as if 99 percent of them were concerning me.

“I wouldn’t approach Krista ever again if I were you. Ymir will jump you.” Freckles dipped his paint brush in water and back onto the water paints, “She is extremely protective over her girlfriend and some say she only pretends to be crazy just to be in this looney bin with her. That lady would hands down die for that girl, so if you think she wouldn’t snap your neck, you’re very wrong.”

“I guess she does have a problem then.” I snickered as I leaned back in my chair, “She can join the club.”

“Ya’know, Levi, I am getting the feeling you think you know everything, but you’re far from it.” There was horse face butting in again. I sighed and leaned back in my chair until the front legs were no longer on the floor.

“Look, horse shit and freckles, I don’t care about anyone’s problems and I certainly am not getting involved with some lesbians. My goal in this shit hole is only to get the fuck out so unless you have some advice circling that, then shut up.”

“Levi, stop being a dick nugget.”

“Excuse me?”

Eren nursed his forehead, “Look, I first thought that maybe you were a good guy, but now I’m starting to see the true side of you.” I watched as Eren drew a red line down his clean sheet of drawing paper, “You act tough because it makes you feel superior to everyone else, but at the end of the day you’re no better than anyone else in here and in fact, you’re in the same room as me which basically tells me you’re never getting out. My advice? Don’t escape. Instead, recover and get out.” I continued to stare at the sheet as Eren drew, “To sum it up, sharing a room with me means you’re only moving backwards.” With that Eren stood up from his chair leaving his art which consisted of wings with the word freedom written underneath.

This damned brat….

x-x-x-x-x

 

It was pouring down really hard outside. I could hear the thunder roaring and see the lightning filling the skies. The wind began to blow leaving a whistling against the side of the building as it scraped across the bricks.

Dinner had passed which consisted of the same bullshit as usual. It was all a complete blur to me and basically this whole experience so far was blurry.

Eren was giving me the cold shoulder and I couldn’t imagine why. I tried to ignore him and read one of my books that were dropped off with my suitcase, but I found myself re-reading the same page over and over again. Why the sudden mood change? This morning the brat was cheery and annoying and now he was curled up into a ball with headphones on and listening to music.

Nonetheless, I continued not to care why my roommate was being bitter. Sure I was slightly curious, but I could only assume that was because I was bored. I sighed and turned towards the window. Rain was pounding against the glass and the building shook as thunder growled into the night sky. Great, I guess I won’t be sleeping tonight either.

I rolled over onto my side and picked my book back up. Eren’s back was turned towards me and I stared into the wings on his cloak that covered his body. That was what he drew in art class today. I wondered what it meant, but obviously it was a great deal to him is he ran around with it on his back every day.

The windows began to shake even harder and I saw a flash of green in the sky. “Shit! Eren! Eren, we’re getting out of here!” I stood up and headed towards the brats bed.

The lights went out.

I was surrounded in complete darkness and by the sounds of the patients screeching, so was everyone else. An alarm went off and an automatic voice spoke throughout the building.

“Please stay calm, this is an emergency.”

I chuckled at the message. Yea, stay calm as we’re about to die.

“W-what’s going on? I can’t see!”

“Brat, its fine. The lights went out because of the storm.” I felt around for his bed, but instead felt something warm.

“That’s my thigh.”

“Oh…uh…sorry.”

A window suddenly shattered and I heard Eren grab my arm tightly as his nails dug into my skin. Unsurprisingly that didn’t hurt.

“Shit! The wind!”

“It’s a tornado. We need to take shelter!”

I grabbed Eren’s arm and ran out of the room. I could hear patients running, but there weren’t any lights. Where were the nurses with flash lights? I couldn’t fucking see a thing!

“Levi…I…I can’t do this!”

I sighed, “What are you talking about brat?”

“I just can’t. I’m not good with storms, just let me go!”

“So you can fucking die!” I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel his pulse which was racing a mile a minute.

“You need to calm down. We’re going to the first floor because that is the safest area currently. If you want, I’ll leave your ass behind, but if you choose to live you better hold on to my arm.”

I felt his grip tighten and had his answer. With that I began to run down the hall holding on to the idiot’s cloak.

-x-x-x-x-

 

Finally we made it down all the flights of stairs in the dark. I could hear glass shattering throughout the hospital and knew that the tornado was close. There was constant screaming and alarms going off throughout the facility. I was starting to get pissed off not being able to see.

“Are we going to die?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!”

Eren punched me in the side of the arm and I hissed, “What the fuck, brat?”

“I might be a mental patient, but I don’t want to die in a tornado!”

I rolled my eyes and lead him down another hall, “Yea yea whatever, but you still want to die, right?”

“No you stupid!” The moron growled under his breath, “I just have a problem like everyone else, but I don’t think I want to die, but if it happened then so be it.”

I paused at the squeaking of a door and turned towards the sound, “Hey. Is anyone there?”

“Oh if it isn’t the prick.”

“Horse face.”

“Oh jean!” Eren left from my arm and over towards the loud mouth, “You’re safe! How is everyone else?”

“Fine. We’re all in the closet over there.” Jean pointed somewhere, but given the dark I’m not sure what he was trying to accomplish.

“We have some pretty exciting news though.” I could practically see the smirk across his face, “The tornado has passed and it’s left a pretty clear opening.”

I grabbed jean’s arm and stepped closer towards him, “To what?”

He snickered, “To freedom!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will update soon! Probably not until next week though. I am going to be buys this weekend. But i hope you all have a good Easter! Thanks for all the awesome comments =D Gah, you guys are great!!


	6. chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is LATE and slightly short, but I want you to know I will be finishing this fic. I just lost the will to write, but it's back now and I want to update this story like I was doing before. I feel as though this chapter is messy. I might edit it later on, but as for now enjoy!

The storm had come and gone so quickly that I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was as if some story book creature had smashed a hole in the wall as if to say ‘here you go little ants, now it’s time for you to escape.’ I felt like it would be too simple to get out of this horrid place so easily, but then if you laid food in front of a starving dog, you’d expect it to eat it so fast that it might have thrown up. I had to wet my dry lips and remind myself that I was on a time limit. Of course the storm had left, but regardless there would be nurses and probably the police here within a moment. The skies were dark like charcoal mixed with green which reminded me of a swamp, but the wind vanished leaving a calming silence. I turned around to watch as Eren put a hand over his mouth in shock. His eyes were so wide and reminded me of the sky, so dark and green; like gazing into the void.

“What is going through that head of yours, brat?”

“Can you believe what you’re seeing? We could have died!”

I found it stupid of him to still be lingering on death. He wasn’t very smart and I wondered if he realized that he was already walking down the trail of the afterlife. 

“Heh, well I’m out of here! You guys can sit here like a puppy with its tail between his legs, but I have bigger and better things to think about.” I watched as Jean took Marco’s hand and glanced back at Eren, “I really think you should come along, Eren. You don’t want to be stuck with this prick now do you?”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at his comment, but once Eren took a step forward as if to say he was right, I got pissed, “Where do you think you’re going?”

“You said so yourself, Levi. You would be happier if I was gone, so let me give you the great pleasure.” He mocked me by bowing shortly with his eyes gazed onto mine. I barred my teeth at him like a wolf would to its enemy before he walked away. 

 

“It doesn’t matter and you’ll figure out why. All of you are completely stupid!” As I said that, the brat tripped and I heard him yelp and fall to his knees. Of course he wasn’t wearing any shoes and you can imagine the debris and glass that had been littered across the area. 

I leaned over him and pulled him up by his cloak and noticed his foot was cut. It was deep, too. I thought of teasing him, but decided against it knowing that it wouldn’t do me any good. The kid was only trying to do what he thought was best.

Jean approached and slapped my hand away, “I got you, Eren. Don’t worry.” 

“Excuse me?” I glared into his eyes and snarled.

“Fuck off, prick. We don’t need you.” Jean pulled Eren up onto his back with Marco nearby. He gave me a pitiful look before grabbing Jean’s hand and running off with him before the sirens got any closer. I sat there frozen.

I turned my head away with gritted teeth as they all left. I noticed those two girls go with them, along with a few others. I had nothing left to say to Eren. I was happy, right? Now I could have my own room. I placed my hand over my face. My mind felt like a black hole and I was being sucked into it. The wind picked up surprisingly and I had to brace myself so I wouldn’t fall over. 

I watched as Eren’s cloak was pulled from his neck and it flew into the wind. It drifted through the air and slapped into a tree coming to a halt. Eren glanced back and I could see his mouth move in the distance, but they didn’t stop running. 

The sound of the sirens only grew. I had to make a choice and quick.

I walked up to the tree and freed Eren’s cloak. Those stupid wings stared up at me and I scoffed. What a stupid kid. The idea of having a room to myself didn’t sound as appealing as it did a few hours ago. I sighed and gazed up at the trees in front of me. I didn’t need those assholes to get out of here and I certainly wasn’t going to stay here and rot in hell.

With that on my mind, I made my decision and fled the scene before anyone could notice. The little green cloak was tied tightly around my neck, flowing as the wind tugged at it.

x-x-x-x-x—x-x

 

I had been walking alone for hours in the wind and drizzling rain before I stumbled across what looked to be a rundown convenient store. There was crappy music playing on a dusty radio right outside the station and a man leaned against the front door staring off into the clouds. It was deserted out here and I didn’t know if it was because of the storm or perhaps the location. I guess this area was missed by the storm. The man’s eyes flickered towards me and his gaze fell to my bare feet with a quizzical expression. I didn’t want him to know where I was from so I quickly walked in the opposite direction and away from all human contact.

Rocks dirt and you’ve guessed it, more rocks. My body was beginning to ache and the sun was setting. I never felt so alone before and realization hit me how lost and alone I was. I had been walking for countless hours and there was nothing out here. I wrapped Eren’s cloak around me tighter and sat down against a tree to rest. If only I had a vehicle. My eyes rolled back into my head and I took a deep breath. Maybe I should have stayed with Eren and his mouthy group, but I was sure with horse shit leading them around they were bound to be caught. The thought surprisingly calmed my nerves and I was able to shift my body against the tree like I would a pillow to my head. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was certainly better than walking around in the mud and rocks.

 

I tried to fall asleep, but all I could concentrate on was how cold it had gotten and what I was going to do to get out of this miserable mess. My stomach growled and I thought of the gross hospital food and how I wouldn’t have minded it right about now. The little paper cups of water wouldn’t hurt, too. I ran my grimy fingers through my hair and scowled at how tangled and gross it felt. I wanted to bath myself, but that wasn’t an option. What if I died-

My heart skipped a beat and I froze.

Died….  
I wanted to die all this time and now I was doing something unlike me. I was striving to survive. My silver eyes fell to the ground and I dug my toes into the dirt. Why did I truly want to die? Sometimes I didn’t have the answer. Even though I could off myself out here, it just didn’t seem like the honorable way to go. It would make me look weak. Although dying in a hospital room with the smell of bacteria wipes didn’t sound honorable either. It made me so angry. I had no idea what I wanted, but at least I knew the pain made me feel alive. I guess I was striving to live only to feel the pain of being alive and perhaps that was worse than wanting to die.

Then there was that shitty brat.

I didn’t want to get myself started on him. Why I kept his old green cloak I had no idea.

I ended up using it as a blanket as I fell asleep against the awkward tree.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

There was a pain in my lower back that felt like stabbing. I woke up and hissed with bleary eyes.

“Dude, get up already, we need to head out before they spot us.” The brunette spoke as she kicked me with what felt like steel toed boots.

A dead-panned look spread across my face as I eyed the girl who had the weird obsession with protecting her blonde girlfriend. Said blondie was right next to her, but without any fear at all in her eyes.

“Don’t fucking touch me.” I warned.

She snorted, “You better thank me. I just saved everyone’s ass out here; even your little fuck-friend.”

The name caused my blood to boil, “That kid isn’t my concern.”

“Funny.” Ymir (I recall) smirked at me, “you know who I am referring to, yet I didn’t use his name.”

Well she had me there, although I didn’t talk too much to anyone else, but the brat.

“Piss off! What could you have possibly done?” 

“Well, given that most all of the patients were caught and taken to a new ward south of here and you’re not with them, tells me you’re still a free man and should be thanking me because they’re heading this way right now and with trucks. I ran into the other group half an hour ago and we split up.” She glared at me curiously, “Then I found you here cuddled up with that gross green thing Eren always wore. I almost mistook you for him.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes as I stood up, “Whatever, I’m leaving.”

“Hm…..I wouldn’t go that way if I were you.” I paused and crossed my arms. The sun had barely began to rise for the day I was getting a headache.

“Look shortly, I don’t care what becomes of you, but I have to protect this one so I’m moving on ahead. Join me if you’d like or go whichever way you want and get caught. Your choice.”

I could hear them begin to walk off and the smaller of the girls whisper something to Ymir. This wasn’t something I had planned, but it was better than going back to wondering around in confusion.

“Wait up….” I mumbled under my breath.

We traveled north for what seemed like a few hours. I knew I was becoming dehydrated, but none of us had water. 

“A-are you okay?” The blonde girl asked me as she clung to Ymir’s side.

“Yea, just dandy.” All I kept thinking about was that bath.

“It’s Krista.”

I sighed, “I know…” Although I didn’t care to know.

Ymir sent me a warning look and I sent her one in return.

“We’re here..” Ymir said as she stopped.

I gazed ahead of me and noticed the rest of the group. There was a small stream that was surrounded by thick tall trees. A huge forest area stood in front of us all and I noticed a few of the patience had brought bags full of food. 

Although I was parched and famished, I couldn’t help but lock my eyes onto emerald ones as they approached me, “Levi….can you please return my cloak to me?”

Those emerald eyes which I had seen so soft and playful looked full of hatred and it stung. I was almost happy to see him alive at first, but now….

“Shitty brat..” I untied the cloak from around me and chunked it at his face. As I walked away and headed towards the river, I secretly wished he watched me. That damn kid…..

**Author's Note:**

> I will update very soon! Probably tomorrow ^^ So stay tuned! Thanks for reading and I'd love to hear what you guys think so far!


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